


Wanted: Defender of the Earth (Short-Term Substitute)

by dbskyler



Category: Doctor Who, Sarah Jane Adventures
Genre: Gen, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 01:14:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16985328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dbskyler/pseuds/dbskyler
Summary: Sarah Jane would like a holiday, but first she has to find someone to take over for her.





	Wanted: Defender of the Earth (Short-Term Substitute)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DWEmma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DWEmma/gifts).



> DWEmma, it was a pleasure to write for a fellow Sarah Jane fan! I hope you enjoy this. Happy Yuletide!

"Next!" called Sarah.

"That's you," said Clyde from the other side of the attic door. 

A man wearing a UNIT uniform walked in, beret carefully in place. He strode confidently up to the desk where Sarah sat, stood at attention, and saluted. "Corporal Benedict, ma'am, reporting for duty!" 

Sarah frowned at him. "I'm not your commanding officer," she said, "and I'm the one who will decide whether you have any duty here or not. Stop that ridiculous salute and have a seat."

Without looking behind him, the young UNIT soldier moved a chair into position and smartly lowered himself into it. It was obviously a move he had practiced multiple times, and he looked as if he were waiting for congratulations, or at least an admiring nod. Instead Sarah shook her head, and wrote something in her notebook.

The corporal's composure cracked a little. "Excuse me, ma'am," he said uncertainly, "but is there a problem?"

"You should have looked at the chair before sitting in it," offered Rani from where she was leaning against the wall. "If you expect to do this job, you shouldn't take anything for granted, and that includes your chair."

"Hush, Rani," said Sarah. "Don't give away the answers."

"Sorry," said Rani.

"Now then," said Sarah, "why are you interested in taking over for me here while I'm away on holiday?"

"Because it's my duty to destroy aliens and defend the Earth!" proclaimed the corporal, feeling himself on surer ground this time. In response, Sarah shook her head again and made another note.

"What if the aliens aren't the ones threatening the Earth?" asked Rani with a mischievous smile.

"I don't understand," said the corporal. "Do you mean, the person threatening the Earth isn't an alien himself, but is being controlled by aliens?"

Rani stifled a groan. Sarah leaned back in her chair and gave the soldier a measured look. "Suppose the human director of a research institute uses a giant robot to commit horrible crimes that endanger the safety of the world. What would you do?"

"Destroy the robot, by any means necessary!" answered the corporal sharply.

"You're really bad at this, you know that?" observed Rani. "Haven't you even read UNIT's own files about aliens?" 

"And you have?" asked the corporal in a condescending tone.

"No, but Sarah Jane's told me stories about her time with UNIT. She and the Doctor dealt with a giant robot. Or maybe the Doctor's one of those aliens you want to destroy?"

The corporal looked at her, then turned back to Sarah. "I'm sorry, but do you really think it's appropriate for a teenager to be present for this?" he asked.

"Yes, I certainly do think it's appropriate," replied Sarah. "And I also think this interview is over."

"Does that mean I have the position?"

It was quite a while before Rani was able to stop laughing.

* * *

"I've always wanted to save the Earth from aliens," said the next candidate. "I used to love watching old science fiction films when I was a child. It's my dream to shoot down an invading horde."

"I see," said Sarah with a heavy sigh. 

"Remember that old video game 'Space Invaders'? I used to be really good at it."

"I'm sure you were," said Sarah.

"By the way, do you think it's appropriate to have a teenager listen to us talking about aliens?" 

"Next!" called Clyde without waiting for Sarah's response. 

* * *

"The next time one of them says they want to destroy all the aliens, we should say 'Mr. Smith, I need you,' then sit back and watch what happens," Clyde said to Rani as they ran up the stairs. The attic door was closed, but they could hear the murmur of voices from the other side. Then suddenly they heard a crash, and then a shout: "Oh my god, that little girl is an alien!"

"Sky must have arrived home from school early today," said Rani with a smile. "She's even better than Mr. Smith."

* * *

It was time to make a phone call. "Don't you have anyone at UNIT other than all these useless soldiers?" asked Sarah. "With this lot, I'm surprised you manage to accomplish anything there at all!"

"I apologize, Ms. Smith," said Kate Lethbridge-Stewart, "but I've sent over all the candidates we can spare. I know you asked for Liz Shaw, but she's still on the moon, and we've had no luck tracking down Jo Jones for you."

"And your father . . . ?" ventured Sarah hopefully.

"Stuck in Peru," answered Kate. "Perhaps it's not UNIT's job to find you a replacement when you go on holiday?" And then she hung up.

Sarah stuck out her tongue. "And you didn't see that," she said to the teens, who were trying not to laugh.

* * *

"So you think Torchwood can get by without you for a week?" Sarah asked.

"Not a problem," said Jack. "I have a good team there, and they've handled things without me before." 

"And you'll leave the guns behind in Cardiff?" she asked again to confirm.

"Yes, I swear. No guns the entire time I'm here," promised Jack.

"Well, as long as that's sorted, I think . . ." she began when the door opened and Rani came in.

"Sarah Jane, I just . . ." Rani trailed off as she spotted Jack. "Who's _this?_ " 

"Hello there," said Jack, smiling broadly. "What's _your_ name?"

"Don't answer that!" exclaimed Sarah. "Jack, I'm sorry, but you can't have the job."

"But I was only . . ." began Jack.

"Oh, please, Sarah Jane?" begged Rani.

"No," repeated Sarah firmly. "It's bad enough already, and he hasn't met Clyde yet."

* * *

"Maybe you don't need to hire someone?" wheedled Clyde. "Rani and I can take care of things, and we'll have Mr. Smith to help. You can even leave us K9. You won't need to take him with you on your trip, will you?"

"I won't need to take him because at this rate I'm not going anywhere," said Sarah. "I know you mean well, but you and Rani are still too young to handle things here on your own. Luke can take Sky on the cruise without me."

"Aw, come on, Sarah Jane. You deserve some time off. Take a chance and go! What are the odds that aliens will invade the one week you're away?" 

Sarah just looked at him. 

Clyde sighed. "Yeah, I know. Never mind."

* * *

"Mum, you're not really staying here, are you?" asked Luke when he and K9 arrived home from Oxford, ready for their holiday. "I thought the three of us would do this cruise together."

"It can't be helped," said Sarah. "But you and Sky can still go and turn it into a brother-sister bonding trip."

"You couldn't find _anyone_ to take over for you here?" 

"I'm afraid not. It's not as easy as it looks, you know," she added teasingly. "I was really hoping I could find someone who'd traveled with the Doctor. But Mr. Smith wasn't able to find anyone for me, and then UNIT and Torchwood didn't work out, either."

"I can find someone, mistress," said K9.

"What?" said Sarah. "You can? But Mr. Smith looked for ages."

"I am not Mr. Smith," K9 said, and Sarah could have sworn there was just a hint of smugness in his tone. "I have been in contact with another K9 unit. He tells me his mistress also traveled with the Doctor."

" _Another_ K9?" asked Sarah excitedly. "Can you get a message to him?" 

K9's antenna extended. "Transmitting request now," he said.

* * *

Leela nodded solemnly as Sarah showed her around the attic. "I accept your challenge," she announced. "I will do what is required to keep this planet safe while you are away."

"Thank you," said Sarah. "Mr. Smith can help, and Clyde and Rani, and I'll leave you K9. Well, my K9," she added with a laugh. "Apparently the Doctor based him on your original model. I never knew that."

"There are many things the Doctor does not say," said Leela. "Why does he act that way?"

"Let me know if you find out," said Sarah. 

"I am not sure if this is something we can ever know," said Leela thoughtfully. "I also do not think that I will ever see him again, but it is good to meet someone else who knew him as I did." 

Sarah smiled at her, understanding exactly what she meant. 

There was the sound of honking outside. "That's our taxi, Mum!" said Luke.

"Oh, better go," said Sarah. "Now Rani, Clyde, listen to Leela and do what she says. Leela, thanks again. I can't tell you how relieved I am that it's you in charge, and not one of those UNIT soldiers with their weapons."

"Weapons?" asked Leela with interest, but Sarah was too busy running out the door to hear her. 

"I hope she has a great time," said Clyde. 

"Can you tell me more about these weapons?" asked Leela.

"Oh, you know, guns and things," said Rani. "But Sarah Jane doesn't like them. You don't have any guns, do you?" she asked with sudden worry.

"Why would I have a gun? My Janis thorn is much better for killing," said Leela, and she pulled out a sharp-looking plant and showed it to her. "I also have my knives," she added, then with a swift movement, she brought out a blade and threw it into the wall next to Clyde's head.

Clyde and Rani stared at her, open-mouthed. 

"Emergency contact protocol initiated. Calling Sarah Jane," said Mr. Smith.

Clyde sighed. "At least she got a few minutes of holiday?"


End file.
